Posts Tagged ‘middle school bullying’

When in doubt, go back to the basics when teaching your children about bullying.  Remember this poem from a book that was popular about 20 years ago? We think it will put a smile on your child’s face – even if your child is an adult.

All I Really Need To Know
I Learned In Kindergarten

by Robert Fulghum www.robertfulghum.com

– an excerpt from the book, All I Really Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten

All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten.
ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW about how to live and what to do
and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not
at the top of the graduate-school mountain, but there in the
sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:

Share everything.

Play fair.

Don’t hit people.

Put things back where you found them.

Clean up your own mess.

Don’t take things that aren’t yours.

Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.

Wash your hands before you eat.


Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

Live a balanced life – learn some and think some
and draw and paint and sing and dance and play
and work every day some.

Take a nap every afternoon.

When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic,
hold hands, and stick together.

Be aware of wonder.
Remember the little seed in the styrofoam cup:
The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody
really knows how or why, but we are all like that.

Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even
the little seed in the Styrofoam cup – they all die.
So do we.

And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books
and the first word you learned – the biggest
word of all – LOOK.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere.
The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation.
Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.

Take any of those items and extrapolate it into
sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your
family life or your work or your government or
your world and it holds true and clear and firm.
Think what a better world it would be if
all – the whole world – had cookies and milk about
three o’clock every afternoon and then lay down with
our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments
had a basic policy to always put things back where
they found them and to clean up their own mess.

And it is still true, no matter how old you
are – when you go out into the world, it is best
to hold hands and stick together.

Gakina-awiiya (We Are All Related),

Chief Robert and Terri Lynn TallTree

“Teach us love, compassion and honor…that we may heal the Earth, and heal each other.”   – Ojibwe prayer

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 In the 25 years we have been working with schools across the country, we have noticed some key gender differences in bullying behavior.  Mean Girls - Movie Poster Print - Style B - 27" x 40"A couple of weeks ago we watched the movie “Mean Girls”, about a group of high school girls bullying another girl who doesn’t fit in, so they verbally torment her, and generally make her life miserable. Of course the misfit prevails, the mean girls face suitable consequences for their behavior, everybody learns lessons and live somewhat happily ever after. We wish it could be more like that in real life.

Gender Differences in Bullying Behavior

  • Girls generally display bullying behavior by lashing out verbally, by creating alliances, by leaving other girls out, by gossiping and spreading rumors, and by engaging in covert behavior.
  • Girl bullying is often based on body image, which can often be attributed to poor body images, low self-esteem, and may lead to eating disorders. 
  • Boys have more of a “line ‘em up and knock ‘em down” tendency, and display their bullying behavior through physical intimidation.
  • When boys engage in bullying behavior, they tend to bully girls as much as boys, while girls tend to bully mostly girls.
  • Bullying behavior by boys can easily extend into sexual harassment or abuse, especially at the middle and high school levels.
  • Both boy and girl bullying can manifest in racist remarks, especially if the students are poorly schooled on cultural diversity issues.
  • In the last ten years, we have noticed a rise in both boy and girl bullying based on homophobic fears and misconceptions.

Both gender varieties of bullying are harmful and insidious in there own ways. As adults, it is so important to tell our children, and especially our girls, that just because they’re not hitting somebody physically, doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

Gakina-awiiya (We Are All Related),

Chief Robert and Terri Lynn TallTree

“Teach us love, compassion and honor…that we may heal the Earth, and heal each other.”   – Ojibwe prayer

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