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Posts Tagged ‘education’

When confronted with evidence of being a bully, your child or student may respond “I wasn’t being a bully, we were having a fight.”  When faced with this justification, here are some questions you may ask your child to elicit a discussion of what it means to be a bully.  We believe that in this situation yelling at your child or punishing them in some other manner is not helpful.  Children are inherently kind.  Help your child see what it means to be unkind. 

  1.  What were you fighting over?
  2. Was it a fair fight?  If it was a physical fight, do you out-weigh, or are you older than the other child?  If it was a verbal fight, was it fair?  Were you saying mean things just to be mean?
  3. What did you want the outcome to be?  What did you expect to happen? What actually happened instead?
  4. Looking back on it, was it really a fight, or were you being a bully?
  5. What can you do differently next time to change the outcome of the situation?
  6. If you were being a bully, how can you make amends to the child you bullied?  Can you offer an apology?  Can you sit next to them at lunch tomorrow?  Can you smile and say hi?  Can you walk with them to school?  For younger children, can you arrange a play date?  What can you do to make up for being a bully?

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If your child is being bullied, your first instinct may be to make light of it, in order to help your child or student feel better.  Do not do this.  The most important thing you can do is listen, until you have the whole story – or as much of the story as you are going to get.  After listening, you and your child can decide together on an appropriate course of action. 

Parents make common miss-steps when they say:

  • Don’t be so sensitive
  • You take things way to personally
  • Be a man
  • Be a big girl
  • Big boys don’t cry
  • Stand up for yourself
  • Hit him (or her) back
  • You’re blowing this out of proportion
  • Don’t be such a baby

As good as your intentions are, these phrases discount your child’s story, and may prevent your child from coming to you in the future.  Listen.  If your child believes he or she is being bullied, it is important.  Attempting to make light of it is not going to lighten their load, and will often have the opposite affect.

Gakina-awiiya (We Are All Related),

Chief Robert and Terri Lynn TallTree
www.thetalltrees.com

“Teach us love, compassion and honor…that we may heal the Earth, and heal each other.”   – Ojibwe prayer

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Third Annual National Bullying Prevention Awareness

 

 

 Week, Oct. 5 – 11, Calls on Communities to Unite

It takes a community to prevent bullying of children. The Third Annual National Bullying Prevention Awareness Week, Oct 5-11, 2008 encourages communities nationwide to work together to increase awareness of the prevalence and impact of bullying on all children.

Families, students, schools, organizations and other groups can unite with PACER to prevent bullying in several ways. Activities and materials such as contests, toolkits, and online bullying prevention training are available on to help reduce bullying in schools, recreational programs, and community organizations. 

Your elementary school students can take an oath against bullying, and you can print a certificate for them! Click www.pacerkidsagainstbullying.org for the oath, and for lots of great information.

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We’ve had so many requests from schools to address bullying and bullying prevention.  When it comes down to it, the best thing that we can do for our children is to be a beacon of hope and love and safety and honor in the world.  This is when and where bullying will cease to exist.

Hope's Beacon by Flavia Weedn

I was once asked why I don’t participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I’ll be there.
Mother Teresa

 Gakina-awiiya (We Are All Related),

Chief Robert and Terri Lynn TallTree
www.thetalltrees.com

“Teach us love, compassion and honor…that we may heal the Earth, and heal each other.”   – Ojibwe prayer

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Last night we did a parent program for Holy Trinity Catholic School in Lenexa, Kansas. The school asked us ahead of time to specifically focus on bullying. Throughout the evening we felt the heartfelt concern of the gathered parents, teachers, and community. From a personal standpoint, our children are grown, but as grandparents of seven, how can we help them stop bullying? 

The most important thing we can do, is to always speak from our hearts and say take care. Take care of each other.  Take care of how you speak to yourself and to others. We are all in this together, and we are all related.

Steps for Taking Care of Bullying

1. Take care of your child’s behavior and reaction.  Ask your child directly if he or she is being bullied – or if he or she is bullying another child. Be careful how you speak to them. Don’t accuse them or use a confrontational tone. Be open and come from your heart.

school program

2. Take care of communication.  Be in constant communication with your child’s school.  Tell them your concern, and your child’s perception of what is happening.  Don’t blame anybody for what is happening, but be very clear that your child being bullied, or bullying another child, will not be tolerated.

3. Take care of your child’s self-esteem.  Hold them, nurture them, and tell them you love them every day. Tell your child that he or she is a gift to the world.  Help your child feel special.  Help your child make friends.

4. Take care of your own behavior.  In what ways in your own life are you a bully  – to yourself, to others, or to your child?  In what ways are you being bullied – by yourself, by others, by your child? How can you transform that situation in your own life?  One of the world’s greatest peacekeepers, Ghandi, once said, “Be the change in the world you wish to see.”

Gakina-awiiya (We Are All Related),

Chief Robert and Terri Lynn TallTree
www.thetalltrees.com

“Teach us love, compassion and honor…that we may heal the Earth, and heal each other.”   – Ojibwe prayer

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Children Learn What They Live

By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte

Gakina-awiiya (We Are All Related),

Chief Robert and Terri Lynn TallTree
www.thetalltrees.com

“Teach us love, compassion and honor…that we may heal the Earth, and heal each other.”   – Ojibwe prayer

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STORY OF THE

COLORS 
Once upon a time the colors of the world started to quarrel; all claimed that they were the best, the most important, the most useful, the favorite.

GREEN said, “Clearly I am the most important. I am the sign of life and of hope. I was chosen for grass, trees, leaves… without me, all animals would die. Look over the countryside and you will see that I am in the majority.”

BLUE interrupted. “You only think about the earth, but consider the sky and the sea. It is the water that is the basis of life and drawn up by the clouds from the deep sea. The sky gives space and peace and serenity. Without my peace, you would all be nothing.”

YELLOW chuckled, “You are all so serious. I bring laughter, gaiety, and warmth into the world. The sun is yellow, the moon is yellow, the stars are yellow. Every time you look at a sunflower, the whole world starts to smile. Without me there would be no fun.”

ORANGEstarted next to blow her trumpet. “I am the color of health and strength. I may be scarce, but I am precious… for I serve the needs of human life. I carry the most important vitamins. Think of carrots, pumpkins, oranges and mangos. I don’t hang around all the time, but when I fill the sky at sunrise or sunset, my beauty is so striking that no one gives another thought to any of you!”

RED could stand it no longer. He shouted out, “I am the ruler of all of you – I am blood – life’s blood! I am the color of danger and of bravery. I am willing to fight for a cause. I bring fire into the blood. Without me, the earth would be as empty as the moon. I am the color of passion and of love, the red rose, the poinsettia and the poppy.”

PURPLE rose up to his full height. He was very tall and spoke with great pomp. “I am the color of royalty and power. Kings, chiefs, and bishops have always chosen me for I am the sign of authority and wisdom. People do not question me – they listen and obey.”

Finally, INDIGO spoke, much more quietly than all the others, but with just as much determination: “Think of me. I am the color of silence. You hardly notice me, but without me you all become superficial. I represent thought and reflection, twilight and deep water. You need me for balance and contrast, for prayer and inner peace.”

And so the colors went on boasting, each convinced of his or her own superiority. Their quarreling became louder and louder. Suddenly there was a startling flash of bright lightening – thunder rolled and boomed. Rain started to pour down relentlessly. The colors crouched down in fear, drawing close to one another for comfort.

In the midst of the clamor, rain began to speak: “You foolish colors, fighting amongst yourselves, each trying to dominate the rest. Don’t you know that you were each made for a special purpose, unique and different? Join hands with one another and come to me.”

Doing as they were told, the colors united and joined hands.

The rain continued: “From now on, when it rains, each of you will stretch across the sky in a great bow of color as a reminder that you can all live in peace. The rainbow is a sign of hope for tomorrow.”
And so, whenever a good rain washes the world, and a rainbow appears in the sky, let us remember to appreciate one another.

– based on a Native American legend
Gakina-awiiya (We Are All Related),

Chief Robert and Terri Lynn TallTree
www.thetalltrees.com

“Teach us love, compassion and honor…that we may heal the Earth, and heal each other.”   – Ojibwe prayer

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