Silence was meaningful with the Lakota, and his granting a space of silence before talking was done in the practice of true politeness and regardful of the rule that “thought comes before speech.”
And in the midst of sorrow, sickness, death, or misfortune of any kind, and in the presence of the notable and great, silence was a mark of respect. More powerful than words was silence with the Lakota.
His strict observance of this tenet of good behavior was the reason, no doubt, for his being given the false characterization by the white man of being stoic. He has been judged to be dumb, stupid, indifferent, and unfeeling.
As a matter of truth, he was the most sympathetic of men, but his emotions of depth and sincerity were tempered with control. Silence meant to the Lakota what it meant to Disraeli when he said, “Silence is the mother of truth,” for the silent man was ever to be trusted, while the man ever ready with speech was never taken seriously.
(Chief Luther Standing Bear, Teton Sioux)
Praise, flattery, exaggerated manners, and fine, high-sounding words were no part of Lakota politeness. Excessive manners were put down as insincere, and the constant talker was considered rude and thoughtless. Conversation was never begun at once, or in a hurried manner.
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